It is a title that currently characterizes me, yet it is one I never genuinely sought until I reached my mid-thirties. Even then, it was more of a temporary objective rather than a true desire. At that point, my primary focus remained on my career—I aspired to secure a more significant position at work and establish myself before contemplating starting a family.

However, in the recesses of my mind, I cherished the notion of having four children. I envisioned a household brimming with laughter, abundant joy, and children playfully chasing one another throughout the home. Nevertheless, I understood deep down that this scenario was unlikely to materialize. I was too occupied with demanding work hours, occasionally spanning seven days a week, traveling extensively across the country in pursuit of stories, and living in an apartment (which lacked a backyard or spacious hallways for children to play and run). Raising four children would be financially burdensome, and I could never afford to step away from the anchor desk frequently enough to be a devoted mother to all of them.

At that point in my life and career, having a large family was not feasible. However, having one child? That was certainly a possibility.

When I entered into marriage, I was nearer to 40 than to 30. After a few years of being married, it struck me with overwhelming force: I desired to have a baby.

At that time, I was co-hosting the 5 a.m. program, FOX and Friends First. My position was stable, and my husband and I were finally in a position to raise a child in New York. The timing was ideal, and I had everything meticulously arranged: We intended to conceive in February or March, as I was resolute about having a baby in the fall. Why? The voices of Manhattan mothers echoed strongly in my mind—cautioning me about the challenges of enrolling a “summer baby” in a New York pre-school.

A close friend of mine often says, “We plan, God laughs.” She was indeed correct.

A Season of Patience

The scripture states, “there is a season for everything,” and for me, this period in my life represented a season of patience. I yearned for a baby intensely, yet things were not progressing as I had hoped. I began to feel a deep sadness over the difficulties we faced in conceiving. I constantly encountered pregnant women on the streets, children playing on swings in the park, and mothers pushing strollers. Meanwhile, my professional peers were becoming pregnant, while I remained childless.

We attempted month after month, experiencing numerous emotional highs and lows throughout the journey. However, after eight months, I finally took a pregnancy test, and it showed a positive result. I understand that many women try for years, but to me, eight months felt like an eternity. The waiting was incredibly challenging.

We were expecting a baby. I was going to become a mother. At last!

To share the joyous news with my husband, I purchased a silver baby spoon and instructed him to open the gift on the steps of our church. He unwrapped the box and appeared somewhat puzzled, unsure of the significance of the spoon. When I revealed that we were having a baby, his face lit up—clearly a mix of nerves and excitement.

At eight weeks, my husband and I visited my doctor to listen to our baby’s heartbeat, holding hands as we observed our “little one” on the monitor. The heartbeat made everything feel real, and we could see our baby’s heart moving rhythmically. We recorded the sound on my husband’s phone and promptly shared it with our parents in South Carolina and Florida. Leaving the doctor’s office, we strolled along 1st Avenue with our parents on speakerphone, relaying our wonderful news. Everyone was overjoyed, especially since this would be the first grandchild for both families.

During our next appointment in November, our doctor entered with a concerned expression, hoping we would hear a heartbeat. We were completely unaware of her worries. At the previous visit, she had mentioned that the baby was small for our stage in the pregnancy, but it did not raise any alarms for either of us. We simply assumed she was indicating that the delivery date might be uncertain.

What transpired next was both unexpected and devastating.

She has taught me to place my trust in God, understanding that His ways surpass my own. He perceives the future and was aware that I required my Hayden. She rests her head on my shoulder and drifts off to sleep. She expresses her love for me, participates in ballet, and has a fondness for animals. She possesses remarkable intelligence and enjoys reading. She is outgoing and perpetually cheerful. My Hayden is a true blessing, and I would have never known her had I not endured those challenging times. I traversed the valley to reach the mountain, and the experience was worth every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears. I would willingly repeat it all, for the view from this height is breathtaking, and my designation is eternally ‘mother.’

We finally welcomed our baby, and I embraced motherhood. It was unequivocally the most wonderful weekend of my life. We fell deeply in love with her, and she became ours. Our families gathered around us, my closest friends surprised me at the hospital, and my healthy child was born in New York City—the place where my dreams materialized.

My little Hayden DuBose Proctor will soon celebrate her second birthday, and I remind her every day that she is a precious gift.

She has taught me to place my trust in God, understanding that His ways surpass my own. He perceives the future and was aware that I required my Hayden. She rests her head on my shoulder and drifts off to sleep. She expresses her love for me, participates in ballet, and has a fondness for animals. She possesses remarkable intelligence and enjoys reading. She is outgoing and perpetually cheerful. My Hayden is a true blessing, and I would have never known her had I not endured those challenging times. I traversed the valley to reach the mountain, and the experience was worth every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears. I would willingly repeat it all, for the view from this height is breathtaking, and my designation is eternally ‘mother.’